Anniversary - March 13
Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 87, 90; Jer. 13:1-11; John 8:47-59
May the graciousness of the Lord our God be upon us; prosper the work of our hands; prosper our handiwork. (Psalm 90:17)
Today. Today marks the one-year mark of quarantine life at our home. On March 12, 2020, Sam and I talked in the middle of the day while the kids were still in school about what was going on regarding the spread of COVID-19 and what we needed to do. I went to the grocery store and bought dried beans, chicken broth, vegetables, canned items, and other stuff that I cannot begin to recall. The cart was full. I stocked the cabinets and refrigerator for the next couple of weeks. We sat down after the kids had gone to bed, worrying about what we were going to do about COVID-19. The schools had not made announcements about closing, but Sam named his clear concern: we cannot send the kids back to school tomorrow. I agreed. And so, our kids stayed home from school that Friday the 13th of March.
Later that day, in-person worship was suspended diocesan-wide by Bishop Kee. I remember being stunned. How long would it last? Would things go back to normal in a week or so? The words from Psalm 90 come up for me, “So teach us to number our days that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.” (v. 12) Counting the days in COVID-time became part of my monthly mental math; honestly, there were some days I applied my heart to God’s wisdom and other days, I just struggled.
Looking back, I could not have named the myriad of changes of the past year. I never imagined this many deaths would come. I never knew how long a week could feel, and how many ups and downs would be presented. I never anticipated so much anger and resentment would bubble up among family and friends. I never thought I would stop myself from singing along in a public gathering. I never thought I would feel so afraid. “Lord, you have been our refuge” (Ps. 90:1)...the psalmist’s words speak so intimately to the past year.
At the same time, I could not have anticipated the great joy and connection that would grow from this time of isolation and dispersion. I think about the Bible studies that pivoted to meet on ZOOM. Worship transitioned to computer screens – and more frequently, with the Daily Office in the morning and at noon. Communication moved to the written word, as John and I began writing reflections on scripture that were emailed out to people each day. Staff worked from home (many while still parenting children)and got really creative in keeping kids and teens engaged, while remotely caring for the church’s physical plant. The choir figured out ways to grace worship with music, even when they could not gather together in the nave in the seats they had so often inhabited each Sunday morning. Psalm 90 speaks up again, “Satisfy us by your loving-kindness in the morning; so shall we rejoice and be glad all the days of our life.” (v. 14) God’s loving-kindness was surrounding us in all of these adaptations and experiments!
While we have not always seen each other’s faces, we have shared stories. We have shared experiences of loss and fear. We have shared struggles of disappointment and frustration. We have shown one another grace. We have extended olive branches of forgiveness and challenged ourselves to grow in new ways. We have lived into exile, while knowing that God is with us. I hear the clanging of Psalm 90, “Make us glad by the measure of the days that you afflicted us and the years in which we suffered adversity.” (v. 15)
At Saint Stephen’s we continue delivering prayers, flowers, meals, calls, smiles, shawls, prayer bracelets, grief books, cards to those in need. We continue as the church. We continue praising God. The church has not shut its doors; we have simply opened the windows of our hearts and allowed the Holy Spirit to move and breathe in us, prospering the work of our hands (Psalm 90:17) in ways we never could have imagined.
As you reflect on the changes in your life across this year, be gentle with yourself. Know that God’s love for you has not wavered, even if your faith has been rattled. Friends, there is still much grieving to be done for the losses upon our hearts. And, though we grieve, we can still cling to joy and gratitude for God’s grace – and that Jesus is our faithful companion in suffering and heartache.
-- Katherine+
Questions for Reflection
What has been a hard loss this year? What have you gained? Where is God in these losses and gifts?
Daily Challenge
Reach out to someone that you’ve not been in touch with much in the last year. Invite them to share a story of heartbreak and a story of joy. Ask them what they would change looking back. Ask what they want to keep from the year of isolation. Think about your answers to these questions…and if you have a chance, share!