Peter's Point of View - April 2
Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 95* & 22; PM Psalm 40:1-14(15-19), 54 ; Gen. 22:1-14; 1 Peter 1:10-20; John 13:36-38
Today’s Reflection
The relationship between Jesus and Simon Peter is one characterized by frustration and misunderstanding tempered by love, mercy, and grace. The reflection I am sharing with you for today, Good Friday, is one written in the imagined voice of Simon Peter, but informed by characterizations of Peter’s and Jesus’ interactions throughout the Gospel accounts.
—Becky+
“Who do people say that I am?” Not another question! “Where I am going, you cannot follow me now, but you will follow me afterwards.” Not another riddle! Seriously, this constant speaking in riddles and parables is beginning to wear on me. I am more of a direct, get-to-the-point kind of person. While I collect my thoughts, some of my fellow disciples are playing along, taking the question as Jesus wanting to take the temperature of popular opinion. “Who do people say that I am?” Well, some think you’re John the Baptizer, others Elijah, others say you’re one of the prophets.
Clearly, though, Jesus is fishing for something more, as comes through more clearly to everyone when he reframes his question in the way that I figured he meant all along: “But who do you say that I am?” Since I had already been mulling it over, anticipating where Jesus was headed with all this, without missing a beat I answered, “You are the Messiah.” I was expecting or hoping for a response from Jesus along the lines of, “Well said, my good and faithful Peter—you are the Rock on which my church will be built.” But I should have known better than to expect a pat on the back. Instead, he shut me down, cold, ordering that none of us should tell anyone beyond our group about who he really is. At least I can have the satisfaction of knowing that I was right, though.
As I was standing there, the fact that he does not want word to get out that he is the Messiah begins to sink in more deeply. If Jesus wants us to keep this to ourselves, this must mean that he truly is the Messiah—our long-awaited savior who has come to establish his kingdom and begin his reign. Maybe once Jesus is finally ready to reveal it, maybe then things will finally get easier for us—enough of moving from place to place. Once Jesus begins his reign, maybe then I can finally be just a fisher of men instead of a part-time fisher of men and a part-time fisher of, um, fish.
However, what came out of Jesus’ mouth next quickly put all those hopes of an easier future in grave doubt. Instead of sharing with us about his future glory and a more peaceful, prosperous life for us, his disciples, Jesus began to say things that turned all my expectations upside down: “the Son of Man must undergo great suffering, and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again.” This is ridiculous! I know the conditions have been harsh—not enough to eat, always looking for the next place he can stay for a while, turned away by people in his own hometown, even by his family. I get that he and the elders, chief priests, and scribes are going to keep butting heads—but be killed for it? I don’t think that they would ever take their conflicts with Jesus that far. Maybe they’ll ban him from the synagogues, or tell him he cannot read Torah anymore in the assembly. And I don’t even know what to make of the “and after three days rise again” part.
After the part about predicting he would be killed, I started tuning out. Enough is enough, I thought. So I called Jesus off to the side, so that the rest of the disciples would not hear or try to interrupt. I told Jesus, “Look, I know things have been getting more difficult for us lately, and especially for you, but please don’t say you’re going to end up dead. Like I said, I believe you’re the Messiah—that means God is going to protect you, his angels will not allow any harm come to you, because you have to live in order to reign and be our savior.”
At that point, Jesus looked more exasperated than I had ever seen him—and he’s been really exasperated with us on occasion, like when we didn’t believe there would be enough food for the crowds. But this time, Jesus was beyond exasperated—he was angry to the point of looking like I was truly making him suffer. Instead of just privately chastising me, he calls every one else in the group over and says to me, “Get behind me, Satan! For you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.” Honestly, I still didn’t get it. How is wanting Jesus to stay alive and well being like Satan? I get that Jesus felt like I was stepping out of line—he is the teacher and I am the follower after all. If he wanted to call me out on that, fine. But saying that I have my mind more on human things couldn’t be further from the truth—I walked away from my business, my family, my town to follow Jesus. At that moment, I felt like asking, “What more do you want from me?” Looking back, I can see that Jesus was correcting me because he loved me—I only wish I had realized that in that moment.
A little later, when a new crowd formed to hear Jesus teach, Jesus decided to make it very clear what more he expected from me—and from all of his followers: “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it. For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life?” Taking up a cross—there he is again, talking about being killed. But now he is extending that to all of us, too. I’ve seen people carrying their cross on the way to their own death by crucifixion, and I’ve heard what a gruesome, painful death that is at the hands of the Romans. I pray that this is just another one of Jesus’ stories with a deeper meaning that is not literally true because, if I am honest, I don’t know if I have enough faith to take up a cross and lose my life—even for Jesus’ sake.
Even though I don’t like to think it is true, I am starting to believe that maybe Jesus is preparing us for how his life will end. But I don’t yet see how this all fits together—Jesus dying, then being raised up a few days later, and us having to take up a cross and lose our lives, too. I hope Jesus, with all his riddles, rhetorical questions, and parables will make this clearer for us soon. It is so hard to follow when you don’t know where you are being led. I know Jesus gets so worn down by our lack of faith and our continual misunderstanding of his purposes. I hope one day I will see more clearly and have a strong enough faith to learn how to follow Jesus along the way with more faith and humility.
Questions for Self-Reflection
As you listen to the Passion Narrative later today, read and chanted in our Good Friday services at 12 noon and 6:30 today, try to imagine the events that unfolded from the vantage points of some of the different people mentioned in the story. How could someone’s position relative to Jesus—be it a disciple or a family member, a political or religious authority figure, or someone more on the margins of society—change their sense both of who Jesus was to them personally and of his significance for the whole world?
Daily Challenge
To reflect more deeply on the varying relationships people of different social positions had with Jesus, view (or re-view) our Sunday Forums from January on Jesus’ Social Network.