How deep are you willing to go? – May 1
Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 55; PM Psalm 138, 139:1-17; Wisdom 7:1-14; Col. 3:12-17; Luke 7:18-28, 31-35
Give ear to my prayer, O God;
do not hide yourself from my supplication.
Attend to me, and answer me;
I am troubled in my complaint.
I am distraught by the noise of the enemy,
because of the clamor of the wicked.
For they bring trouble upon me,
and in anger they cherish enmity against me. (Psalm 55:1-3)
When I think of the psalms to read in a morning, as the sun is rising and the birds are chirping to welcome the new day, I think of words of encouragement, like from Psalm 121, “I lift up my eyes to the hills…”or from Psalm 23, “The Lord is My Shepherd”…or from Psalm 100, “Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all the lands…”. Easy. Light. Moving on.
When going deeper and actually reading the psalm appointed for this morning, I find Psalm 55 greeting me with stirring emotions and stormy seas from the early verses. The psalmist pleads with the Lord and puts demands on God, who has been hidden in the midst of turmoil and attack, not answering prayers. It feels like I have walked in on an intense conversation, and I am not sure where to go for a graceful exit. Yet, allowing myself to sink into this space of real emotion and dis-ease can be a way of facing some of the big questions that well up from time to time.
I saw a bumper sticker this week that feels germane at this point:
HOW AM I DRIVING?
HOW DOES AN ENGINE EVEN WORK?
HOW CAN A LOVING GOD CAUSE SUCH AGONY?
Rereading those questions is amusing in their progression of intensity for a bumper sticker, while also compelling as I reflect on the passion of Psalm 55 this morning. Drawing closer and closer to the back of the car, one is faced with deeper and more complicated questions – that surely cannot be resolved during 5 o’clock traffic or an endless red light on Summit Boulevard. If a driver dare get so close, perhaps that smallest, biggest question, “How can a loving God cause so much agony?” would be reason enough for someone to keep their distance, for sure.
Do you ever meet someone who dives deeply into intense conversation quickly, leaving surface-level niceties behind? Perhaps a friend of yours does this at parties (do you remember parties?), and that is why you love her. Maybe it makes you squirm, as he will pull you into a space of honesty that you are not ready to dwell in or explore. Or, you are that person, and you yearn for someone to go into the depths of anguish with you, so that the “terrors of death” written about in Psalm 55 would not seem so overwhelming knowing that you are not alone in the strife.
Here’s what I am wondering for you and for me: do our prayers with God ever get this intense and passionate? Do we open our mouths and let all of the pain of judgement and iniquity fall out in supplications to the Lord? Do we share these deepest pains with a confidante?
While at the next family gathering or neighborhood picnic it might make some folks feel uncomfortable to go so deeply into the agony upon our hearts, we can let Psalm 55 (and the brutally deep bumper sticker) be an invitation to entrust the pain on our hearts to God and share it with someone we can trust, too. We may not get all the answers we want in the moment. What we will receive is consolation that we can trust in God through all manners of tumult.
-- Katherine+
Questions for Reflection
What does prayer look like for you on a hard day?
When did you last trust a friend or family member with a deep conversation or hard though you've been wrestling with?
Daily Challenge
Pray through Psalm 55. Listen for where you are moved to be honest with God about a disappointment. Then, call a friend. Invite them to share in this space of deep conversation.